In the immortal words of Winston Churchill “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Personally, I believe there is a
difference between what people perceive as Pollyannaism and what it really
means to be positive. By definition, Pollyannaism implies that you ignore or
avoid dealing with negative events, looking only for the good and denying the
bad. However, this is not the foundation of positive thinking (despite what
many might believe). Positive thinking, unlike Pollyannaism, acknowledges both
negative and positive events and chooses to focus on the positive aspects
rather than the negative ones. Positive thinking means dealing with a negative
event, allowing the appropriate amount of time for negative emotions to
surface, and then moving on from the negativity by focusing on the positive.
When I was a lot younger I used
to wonder why some days were good and some days were bad. I thought, like most people, that the bad
days were when more bad things happened and the good days were when more good
things happened.
So, as an exercise, for two
weeks I documented what happened each day (good events and bad events) and how
I felt that day. The conclusion was a bit strange: The amount of good/bad things that happened
to me did not seem to correlate to how I felt about that day. Some days I felt "bad", but very
few bad things happened to me. Some days
I felt "good" even though a lot of bad things happened to me on those
days.
What I realized then was that it
was all in my head. The good days were
good because I decided they were. Same
with the bad days.
They
say that one man can’t make a difference, but Abdul Samad Sheikh, a
60-year-old rickshaw driver from Bangladesh, is living proof that small
contributions over a long period of time can mean very much. He has planted at
least one tree every day since he was 12-years-old, which means that he has so
far planted a small forest of over 17,500 trees in last 48 years. Imagine if
everyone followed his example.
I met Sayma couple of months
earlier, 23 years old single mother have no good memory about her childhood. Her
family married her off when she was thinking about
school picnic. She was beaten every day for dowry without knowing what dowry
actually mean. She asked her husband where I would find dowry, and he had
beaten her hard. All they wanted was money to a child. And her family was not
able to give them anything.
She gave birth to her daughter Joyita
when she was thirteen. She holds her like a doll and was afraid if they take the
baby from her to bring any dowry. That was her childhood and motherhood. She
was kicked out from house and had no place to go. Thirteen years old mother and
her daughter had no place in this brutal world for one night. Strangely, she
had received help from people whom she never knew. “My battle was not about
surviving. My battle was living in a loveless world and holding my daughter
with a heart full of love. I never knew what true love was, what it feels to be
loved. But my daughter held me tightly and I told myself I will win for her, I
will win to save my daughter’s childhood” – she said. Soon she will finish her
university, her daughter Jotiya is in school. Joyita Beauty Parlour - every corner of this room is decorated by
Sayma and her daughter. This is her parlour and four people work for her. She
work, laugh and dream. “If my wound ever heals, may be one day I will find
someone, someone who will make me believe in love” – she said.
Malala Yousafjai – the epitome of
optimism. A clear shoot is aimed to kill her on 2012, Malala Yousafjai has
never stopped her fight for the rights of girls to have an education. Malala stood up for herself, for her
education and for her fundamental rights when confronted by a fearsome
terrorist group. Malala has created a chain reaction all around the world,
bringing change, light and hope to girls across all continents. Malala has
inspired more than just our own education; she has inspired our entire outlook
and goals.
In order to live a positive life,
one must begin by looking for the good in things. While negative elements of
life should not be ignored, it’s not helpful to seek them out either. A quote
from Abraham Lincoln: "When you look for the bad in men, expecting to find
it, you surely will." I believe these words to be true. When you search
for the negative things in people (and in life), you will find them.
Conversely, when you search for the positive, what you find will be positive.
